My brother Michael and I have never been close. Yesterday he contacted me for the first time in years. I am scared, nervous, anxious, and excited. What Michael told me is that he wants a relationship with my children and myself. I really would like to believe that we might finally establish a relationship. I am very apprehensive because my mother is involved.
My mother and I have never had a good relationship. The woman has (as far back as I can remember) always been verbally, physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive towards me. As a child I was denied a childhood. My mother never wanted a girl, and always told me so. She made sure she told me everyday that I was no good, worth nothing, and would accomplish nothing in my life. So because of my mother’s beliefs, I was only good for laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning and waiting on my brother hand and foot.
Yes, I grew very resentful towards my brother because of these reasons and others. As an adult I realize it wasn’t his fault, but because of the way he was raised. I am trying not to let my mother, or the feelings I have towards her affect the relationship my brother and I are trying to establish.
On the advice of several people I know I am trying to proceed with caution, but at the same time keep an open mind. I wish to one day in the near future have a good relationship with my brother and his wife. I hope that my mother’s brain washing has not made them judgmental towards my husband and I.
What I was trying to make my brother realize when I spoke to him, is that he lives his life and I live mine. I don’t agree with his tastes or choices but I accept him as he is and do not judge him. I just hope Michael and his wife will do the same for my husband and I.
Maybe this will all work out for the best and my daughters will finally have an Uncle. If not, hopefully we will be able to at least part on peaceful terms.
By: Shawna René Ozorowsky
January 13, 2004